How to tell when you are spending too much time with your computer:

 * You start introducing yourself as "lord at pacbell dot net"
 * Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she
   looks like
 * You check your mail.  It says "no new messages".  So you check it
   again
 * Your phone bill is delivered in a box
 * You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom
 * All of your friends have an @ in their names
 * You tell the cab driver you live at
    http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
 * You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got
   work to do"  and you don't have a job
 * You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape
    3.01"
 * You never have to deal with the busy signals because you never log
    off
 * You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in
   front of your computer with a toilet
 * You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :)
 * Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you
   buy another computer and install another phone line so that the two
   of you can chat
 * As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your
   first instinct is to search for the "back" button
 * Your computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours.  You
   start to tremble.  You pick up the phone and dial your Internet
   access number.  You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect.
   You succeed.